Edited by Jennifer Reiling, Editorial Assistant.
Artificial Assistants.—The Burlesque
number of the Munich Med. Woch,, issued on the sixty-fifth
anniversary of the local medical society, is an exact reproduction of the
regular make-up, but sparkling with fun in every line. The rear outer cover
is a display ad. of artificial assistants for surgeons, etc. "The disadvantages
of the living assistants hitherto in use are familiar to all. They assist,
but have too many annoying ‘secondary effects.' Some are unable to keep
their mouth shut, some have ‘exaggerated reflex excitability,' some
have opinions that differ from those of their chief and criticise him, some
leave matches around and the gas burning, some shock spectators by their lack
of gentleness. These drawbacks are all entirely obviated with our new patent
glass and iron assistants, transparent, sterilizable, to connect with either
electric or steam power. They are supplied in two grades, smooth or rough
finish, for private practice or general hospital work. They are adjusted for
only one or two specialties each, but extra specialty appliances can be screwed
on as desired. Assistants for surgeons: Say ‘sponge' and ‘gauze'
: Style A. Wipes 10 times a minute, 1200 Marks; B. Wipes 20 times a minute, 1300 M.; C. No hinge in back, 1100 M.; D. Without buttocks
(an important improvement, allowing spectators complete oversight of the operation)
2000 M. For internal medicine: Do percussion, and find albumin in urine: A. Once an hour, 100M.; B. Three
times an hour, 150 M.; C. Stain bacilli, 200 M. For
obstetrics and gynecology: Style A. Automatically
perform vaginofixation on every uterus, 10 M.; B.
Ditto vesicofixation (new), 20 M.; C. Antefixation
according to indications, 200 M.; D. Abhor all therapeutic
treatment of retroflexion, 600M., etc." The leading article is a report of
successful experimentation to secure asexual propagation of the human species
by fission, accomplished by administering an extract, Tolstoidin, thus named
from the idea having been suggested by the disapproval of the sexual methods
expressed in Tolstoi's "Kreutzer Sonata."
MISCELLANY.. JAMA. 1998;280(19):1658C. doi:10.1001/jama.280.19.1658