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August 30, 1971

Research, Rehabilitation, Education, and Welfare

Author Affiliations

Bloomington, Hawaii

JAMA. 1971;217(9):1245. doi:10.1001/jama.1971.03190090067021

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To the Editor.—  Last week a little old lady, whose pestering symptoms had bugbit me (the bugs pestered me, not her), declared she wanted to become a drug addict.Liddle.—Really, Mrs. Smith, I must expostulate...Mrs. Smith.—Never mind the expostulation. Just teach me how to become an addict. And none of this pot, I want hard stuff.Liddle.—Sorry, granma, but...Mrs. Smith.—Skip the gamma delta, epsilon hypocrisy and uncork 50 or 60 bags. Mainline me in, and omit the skinpopping. Let's get on the fast track. I sacked the hypos and needles on my last visit, but could use a little diagram of finger-veins for when my antecubitals give out.Liddle.—You've been reading...Mrs. Smith.—Yes, I've been reading the New York Times, which promises aid for heroin addicts, which tells about that $105 million Mr. Nixon wants, which would benefit perhaps one third of