In the spring of his 17th year, our child Matthew—born with Down syndrome—started to change. Until then, he had had a very consistent personality—sociable, glad-handing in large groups, obsessed with Power Rangers and Goosebumps. The oldest of 4 brothers, he enjoyed acting out favorite scenes from movies and television shows and repeatedly cataloging his DVD collection.
Then the change happened. Almost overnight, it seemed, tectonic plates shifted in the subterrane of his personality. He became irritable, withdrawn, angry. We initially attributed this to teenage angst, playing out differently with Down syndrome. But we could no longer be in denial when, at his youngest brother’s first birthday party, he snapped, punching his mother in the face. Sadly, that was only the start of such episodes. Every month or so, Matthew would become physically aggressive. The episodes were unpredictable—often occurring at public places or restaurants. Sometimes he would hit one of us, sometimes he would punch walls. Often one of us would have to hold him down until he stopped “being the Hulk.” One episode so terrified his younger brother that he called 911. When the police officers arrived, we had to lie and say that we had things under control. (We did, but only at the moment and our hearts were bursting with anxiety that Matthew would snap any second while the police officers were there, and they would have to take him away.)